These were my favorite quotes I read or had recited to me by raving madmen that I passed in the street over the past month. Enjoy!
“Who
was Jezebel, by the way? The name seems familiar, but I can’t place her.”
“A
character in the Old Testament, sir. A queen of Israel.”
“Of
course, yes. Be forgetting my own name next. Eaten by dogs, wasn’t she?”
“Yes,
sir.”
“Can’t
have been pleasant for her.”
“No,
sir.”
“Still,
that’s the way the ball rolls.”
-P.G.
Wodehouse, Jeeves in the Offing
“Was
that the answer? Kinderman wondered. Was the three-dimensional universe an
artificial construction designed to be entered for the working out of specific
problems that could be solved in no other way? Was the problem of evil in the
world by design? Did the soul put on a body as men put on diving suits in order
to enter the ocean and work in the depths of an alien world? Did we choose the
pain what we innocently suffered?”
“Would
you like to hear a nice definition of jealousy? It's the feeling that you get
when someone you absolutely detest is having a wonderful time without you.”
“Satan
left the paradox intact, a bleeding wound of the mind that never healed.”
"They
say that when you're under the anesthesia," said Dyer, "your
unconscious is aware of everything. It hears the doctors and the nurses talking
about you. It feels the pain of the knife." Kinderman looked up from the
paper and eyed him. "But when you wake up from the anesthesia, it's as if
it never happened," said Dyer. "So maybe when we a go back to God,
that's how it will be with all the pain of the world."
-William Peter Blatty, Legion
“Oh
yeah, one more of your ideas?”
“We’re beings of human intelligence, not rats!”
“We’re beings of human intelligence, not rats!”
-Rats:
Nights of Terror
“Twenty-two
years of mental tears
Cries a suicidal Vietnam vet
Cries a suicidal Vietnam vet
Who
fought a losing war on a foreign shore
To
find his country didn't want him back
Their
bullets took his best friend in Saigon
Our
lawyers took his wife and kids, no regrets
In
a time I don't remember
In
a war he can't forget
He
cried forgive me for what
I've done there
'Cause
I never meant the things I did...
And
give me something to believe in.”
-Poison (If you told someone Bruce Springsteen wrote those lyrics, they'd be all, "Whoa! That's so deep!" But it's Poison, so they get no respect.)
“A
bad decision isn't only bad because we're uninformed or dumb. It can be bad
because we are swayed by short-term comfort and ignore long-term implications.
A bad decision feels good in the short run, the heartfelt decision of someone
who means well. But there's a gap when we get to the long run.”
-Seth
Godin
“Any
conversation is a unique jazz performance. Some are more pleasing to the ears,
but that is not necessarily a measure of their performance.”
-Frank
Herbert, Whipping Star
“Repetition
is the bane of sensationalism.”
-Penny
Dreadful
“Do
not nudge, kick, or jiggle the seat in front of you.
I'm
sitting there!
I
am everywhere at once!
And
I will cut you up.
If
you make out in the theater,
I
will cut your lips and tongue from your head with a…
Linoleum
knife!
Do
not explain the plot.
If
you don't understand, then you should not be here.
Do
not crinkle your food wrappers loudly.
Be
considerate to others,
Or
I will bite your torso and give you a disease.”
-Mastadon,
Theme song for Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
“You’re
funny. What, did you have a clown for breakfast?”
-The
Lake House
“In
my estimation, more misery has been created by reformers than by any other
force in human history. Show me someone who says, 'Something must be done!' and
I will show you a head full of vicious intentions that have no other outlet.”
“It
is unsettling to dream another’s dreams.”
-Frank
Herbert, Heretics of Dune
“We
need to declare a public health emergency!”
“You
don’t have the authority to declare happy birthday, not in this town!”
-Slugs
“On
his way back to the living room he passed a mirror in the dining room and
looked in it. His face looked strange. He smiled at the face in the mirror and
it grinned back at him. He winked at it and went on. It was not his face but it
didn’t make any difference.”
“In
the early morning on the lake sitting in the stern of the boat with his father
rowing, he felt quite sure that he would never die.”
-Ernest
Hemingway, In Our Time (This book hit me at the right age way back when and to this day, it influences my prose more than I would like.) -Compiled by Phony McFakename
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