“It
is a fact that it takes experience before one can realize what is a catastrophe
and what is not. Children have little faculty of distinguishing between
disaster and the ordinary course of their lives.”
-Richard
Hughes, A High Wind in Jamaica
“Rockin'
the boat's a drag. You gotta sink the boat!”
“Are
you for SURREAL?”
-Putney
Swope
“I
should want to cook [Mr. Belvedere] a simple meal. I should not want to cut
into him. To tear the flesh. To wear the flesh. Be born into new worlds where
his flesh is my key.”
-Saturday
Night Live, “Mr. Belvedere Fan Club” sketch
"For
all that gets written about the therapeutic power of good humor and its
imagined ability to cure pretty much every ill, I have been forced to confront
a difficult truth: being funny is not making me a better person."
"If
you have children, you already know this: watching them use habits and
mannerisms they picked up from you is taking a long, unpleasant look at the man
in the mirror."
"[my
teenage son] was suddenly MOUTHY, as my mom used to say, with an unsolicited
opinion or flippant comeback to everything.
'Ah,
he's sarcastic, like you,' said my brother-in-law knowingly.
He
didn't mean anything by it, but it stung me to the quick. Sarcastic, LIKE ME?
Telling jokes has been a big part of my identity as far back as I can remember,
but being reduced bluntly to the Sarcastic One was devastating. I don't like
the Sarcastic One. I'm not sure if anyone does. It's hard to get to know people
who constantly deflect conversation with quippy asides--which is probably why
they started doing it, as a way to talk without revealing anything, risking
anything. Even if it's just a tic, even if there's more to someone than the
sarcasm, it's tiresome as a first response."
"Why
does nothing ever come out sounding NICER than we mean it? Why only meaner? I
am weary, deeply weary, of people who always have something quick and clever to
say. I find great solace in the company of people who are quiet and filled with
a great light and generosity of spirit, like tall trees in a sunny glade,
though I know I am not one of them, and perhaps never will be."
-Ken
Jennings, Planet Funny
“Here’s
the thing about comedy: it doesn’t hold up when it’s scrutinized. It doesn’t
hold up when people ask you questions about it. It just sort of evaporates. So
you have to avoid being in situations where people ask a lot of questions and
challenge you and go, is what you’re doing funny? Because if you’re in that
situation, it’s over, and you can’t defend it.”
“Kids
like the show and they don’t have a problem with references they don’t
understand, because their life is like that. They’re constantly being
confronted with things they don’t understand, but they start to find meaning in
the words in the town in which they’re delivered. The way we move into the
world is the same way. You kind of learn things by proxy.”
-Joel
Hodgson, on MST3K
“He’s
got a face like a full diaper.”
-Rifftrax
on Final Justice
“I
want a cool rider. A cool rider... I want a rider that’s cool.”
“I
got this essay on the fall of Rome. I didn’t even know they were in trouble!”
“We're
going to die and I'm wearing my mother's underwear!”
“I
wanted to ask you if you're free after school today.”
“Yeah.
I'm free every day. It's in the Constitution.”
“I’m
independent! I can kiss the next guy who walks through that door, if I want!”
“KABLAM!
NUCLEOID WAR!“
-Grease
2
“When
I was a child in the seventies, I would run home from school to watch “Million
Dollar Movie.” They had this tremendous music: “Tonight…da-da…on the Million
Dollar Movie…Charles Bronson in ‘Once Upon a Time in the West!’ And it was
thrilling, man. I would sit on my living room floor, tuned into my Zenith
television, and I watched that Million Dollar Movie. For me, I feel like
video-on-demand has enabled me to have that kind of relationship with my
audience. They can go home and get together and check out any one of the movies
that I have on Netflix, or on iTunes, or whatever, and they know that I’m going
to give it my all and I’m not going to let them down. The movie may not
entirely work, but they know that I’m going to throw down. I care. I care about
my work and I care about my audience. I’ve come around full-circle and totally
embraced video-on-demand.”
-Nicolas
Cage
"Football:
the systematic violation of the Geneva Convention made into a sport. I'm
surprised the A.S.P.C.A. doesn't protest."
“Didn't
he get busted for murder?”
“Assault.”
“See?
He's not even a very good murderer.”
“I
hope we're still friends after I taser you.”
“Underneath
that angry young woman show, there's a slightly less angry woman who's just
dying to bake me something.”
“It's
all fun and games till one of you gets my foot up your ass.”
“My
name is Cliff, and I'll be your, ‘If you cannot afford an attorney’ attorney.”
-Veronica
Mars
-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename
No comments:
Post a Comment