One of my favorite writers has not published much online. He is mostly active on the Something Awful forums. But I am lucky enough to read his writing in the form of emails and Facebook messages. And this week, he gave me a truly special assessment of a truly special work of art that is truly worthy of Craptastique.
So just for the funz, I am having him on here as a guest blogger. The words that follow are his. Only the words in italics that you are currently are mine. Enjoy! (My words end...now!)
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Yesterday,
I observed what I believe was a movie (or film, as some call it). From the
proceedings, it appeared that a large group of people contrived a series of
set-pieces designed to convey the elements of a story.
There
were sets- that is, locations that were either chosen for their inherent
qualities or fabricated entirely- which were then decorated. Some people stood
in and/or moved about in those sets, wearing clothes that they would not have
worn under normal circumstances, and said things that I believe were scripted
rather than extemporaneous. Sometimes these people were in situations which
appeared to be confrontational or dangerous or both, but I believe these
encounters were prearranged.
The
proceedings were recorded using cameras and microphones, then packaged
for consumption. I know this because I observed them on my television, the
medium through which I normally enjoy movies and television programs. The
proceedings were a fairly unbroken narrative lasting more than 100 minutes,
well into the normal running time for a movie, rather than a television show.
The
scenes depicted people talking to one another, and doing things, sometimes
together or in opposition to each other. At some point, they stopped talking
and doing things, and the experience was concluded but for a list of people
involved, which I assume were credits.
The title of these proceedings was Super Mario Brothers, and I am almost certain that it was a movie.
The title of these proceedings was Super Mario Brothers, and I am almost certain that it was a movie.
-Jack Balfour
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