You probably thought they lived millions of years ago and went extinct before mankind came along.
Well, you thought WRONG!
Here comes The Great Dinosaur Mystery SOLVED!
The author's last name is Ham. Know why? It's because he is straight up GOIN' HAM on all your evolutionary lies!
Alright, let's knock down your stupid, STUPID brainwashed misconceptions one by one!
1) But I thought dinosaurs lived millions of years ago!
You fool! Dinosaurs were created on the fifth and sixth days of creation- when God made the things of the sea and the things of the Earth- exactly 6,000 years ago. The Bible is the History Book of the Universe. That's the only way you can interpret it!
2) What about the fossils that date back much farther than 6,000 years?
You are really silly! You're gonna trust "scientists" with their "science" over Ken Ham's interpretation of the Bible? Scientists are just making wild guesses, they don't really know anything about anything.
3) But there's no evidence that mankind lived at the same time as dinosaurs...is there?
Sigh. I envy your reckless foolishness. I wish I could be as foolish as you, but I am too enlightened. Buddy, there are authentic CAVE DRAWINGS of dinosaurs drawn by early cavemen!
You poor, deluded dummy head. You know all those references to Leviathan, Behemoth, and even dragons in the Bible? All dinosaurs. IN YO FACE!
5) Do you mean to tell me that there were dinosaurs in Noah's Ark?
Do you still have any doubts at this point? What's wrong with you? STUPID! You're so STUPID! OF COURSE there were dinosaurs on Noah's Ark. Two of every kind of animal- what part of that is unclear?
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| This is funny, but it's not how it really happened. The other animals were NOT eaten by the dinosaurs on the Ark! |
Here's my imitation of you: "Derp derp bla bla stupid brainwashed so-called science. Duuuh." The Ark was HUGE, buster. Of course they had room for all the dinosaurs on there. And most dinosaurs weren't that big. And for all the really gigantic dinosaurs, like T-rex and brachiosaurus? God had Noah put two baby versions of each of those dinosaurs on the Ark so they wouldn't take up as much space.
7) What about all these scientists and historians that tell me different things from what you're telling me?
You are a magnificently micro-cephalic specimen of intellectual inferiority. The so-called "scientists" and so-called "historians" are just haters! They claim to know things, but they can only see the present, not the past. They're just guessing! Science is good for building machines and stuff, but when it comes to the past- we just don't know!
Now you're getting it!
Okay- dinosaurs were all plant-eaters at first and they only started eating flesh after the Curse was placed on Adam and Eve. You think T-rex's sharp teeth prove it was a meat eater? Well, camels have sharp teeth and they don't eat meat! CHECKMATE!
No dinosaurs died until after the Curse was placed on Adam and Eve because there was no death before then.
If mankind had started preserving endangered species a few years sooner, we could have saved the dinosaurs that walked alongside us before they faced extinction!
We don't REALLY know if dinosaurs were warm-blooded or cold-blooded.
Belief in pre-historic dinosaurs is responsible for euthanasia, the dissolution of the family unit, homosexuality, abortion, pornography, and racism.
The so-called "Loch Ness Monster"? A dinosaur. PROVING that dinosaurs still exist. And isn't it more likely that a dinosaur would still exist if it was created 6,000 years ago than if it was created MILLIONS of years ago?
Theistic Evolutionists, Progressive Creationists, and Gap Theorists are all poopyheads.
Dinosaurs didn't evolve into birds because evolution is a dumb lie. Paleontologists are lying about any so-called "evidence" that proves dinosaur-to-bird evolution.
Check the 87 end-notes for an amazing collection of scholarly resources consulted for this book, including Ken Ham's Evolution: The Lie, The Genesis Record, Creation ex nihilo Technical Journal, The Young Earth, After the Flood, Dinosaurs and Dragons, Noah's Ark: A Feasibility Study, An Ice Age Caused by the Genesis Flood, Creation and the Curse, and The Cincinnati Enquirer.
9) That's incredible. Thanks!
Oh, don't thank me. Just go to the Creation Museum and support Ken Ham there!
10) Can I learn more amazing truth at this Creation Museum?
Yes, you can learn more amazing truth at this Creation Museum. Admission for adults is only $30! And if you want to tour the Ark exhibit along with the Museum, it's only $60!
11) Only $60 a ticket? That's a great deal!
It sure is!
-Phony McFakename
Thanks for putting me straight. Those hundreds of years carefully researching the evidence has all been in the service of a huge conspiracy to disprove the Bible! What a load of jokers those scientists are, or have they just fallen for god's practical joke of planting evidence? Whatever the case it's a relief that I can rely on the Bible, otherwise I'd have to let my slaves go because "modern liberals" think that it's unfair, or something.
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