Cinemasterworks: Last Ten Movies I Done Seen

I like those movie things. I see a lot of them. Too many. But I want to help you. So as a public service, here is a shallow-dive on the last ten movies I happen to have seen.

Black Panther

I hear this is a pretty popular one. Perhaps you've heard of it? As a Marvel movie, it's fine. As a cultural milestone, it's an A+.

Dead Shack

Old school crazy horror about a lady in a cabin in the woods who hunts people to feed to her zombie kids. Mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.


New York Doll

Old favorite. Documentary about the burnout bassist from legendary punk/glam innovators New York Dolls converting to Mormonism. Moving and heartfelt.

Detroit

Intense drama reenacting the 1967 Detroit riot, focusing on a terrified group under siege from the police. Kathryn Bigelow cranks the tension, as always.

The Road Movie

If you've never seen Russian dashcam compilations, this movie will knock you out. If you have seen Russian dashcam compilations, this feature-length compilation will leave you going, "Uh, I already saw all this stuff on YouTube."

Radius

Tricky thriller where a dude who wakes up from an accident, discovers he kills anyone who comes within 50 feet of him. More weirdness ensues.

Logan Lucky

Cute, endearing West Virginia-fried heist movie. Couple of brothers rob a Nascar race. With Daniel Craig as an ugly American convict!

Ouija: Origin of Evil

Watched it on a lark. Expected total weak-sauce PG-13 teenybopper horror. A meh jump scare or two. But nope! This thing was brutal! Filmed like a 70s horror movie, the acting is all great and the scares are solid and unnerving. Eek!

The Notebook

Gotta say, the renowned (and sight-unseen-spoofed-in-Best Sellers) "white people kissing in the rain" scene was a perfunctory letdown. The emotional underpinning for the scene (heck, for the whole STORY) was a sitcom-level idiotic miscommunication. I could rant for days about the stupidity of Ryan Gosling's character sending those letters with HIS NAME AND ADDRESS on them so they could easily and obviously be intercepted by his lover's disapproving parents. My wife doesn't even think Gosling is that hot (I disagree there). But credit where it's due: the scenes with the elderly versions of the couple are tear-jerking soul-punchers, in spite of the fundamentally cheesy and predictable love story they're flashing back to.

1898: Our Last Men in the Philippines

Cool visualization of the Siege of Baler, a crazy historical incident not many people seem to know about. A dramatic end to the Spanish empire.


-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename

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