They sent me TWENTY-FOUR emails over the course of a MONTH trying to sell me on this annual plan that--AGAIN--they would not allow me to purchase.
Good news, though! They are now trying to sell me on their new MONTHLY plans with the jacked-up prices for the same level of garbage service/availability!
They sent me SEVEN emails over the past week trying to get me to buy one of these new plans.
At least I actually qualify to buy the thing they're trying to sell me this time.
Progress?
*
Meanwhile, my wife's monthly MoviePass plan is still $9.95/month, no price increase. Though they inexplicably changed its monthly renewal date, pushing it back three days for no apparent reason. Just to bilk a few extra bucks by delaying service, probably? Whatevs.
We're still able to get our three monthly movies through the plan, so no worries there. I don't mind cruising over to the theater on my lunch break to grab tix before they shut down the app and go "No Screenings" for the day.
Heck, as a fun experiment, I managed to get all three of my monthly tickets in my first three days of service for the month. Total triumph! Absolute victory!
I mean, they made If Beale Street Could Talk, On the Basis of Sex, and The Upside available on three consecutive days, so you could do worse than those films. But just the simple fact that they made three different movies available three days in a row is major progress. A far cry from the days of Indivisible being the only movie available for weeks.
I highly recommend you try this experiment. Get your three tickets three days in a row! Nothing feels better than getting your money's worth from such a tricky company! NOTHING!
*
I don't understand what any of that
means.
So let’s talk about the name of my
current-favorite company, Sinemia.
I was critical of them in the past
and have changed my mind about most aspects of the company. Their service works fine for me.
But I remain critical of their name!
But I remain critical of their name!
“Sinemia.” It’s weird, right?
Like “Sinema” would make sense, as
it at least looks and sounds like “Cinema,” which makes sense as it’s a movie
business. And it would give it a cheeky twist, like, “Oo my! A SINFUL cinema
company!”
Or even “Cinemia.” That would work.
A bit awkward, but still LOOKS like cinema, and sounds like a fun
weirdly-spelled “cinema mania” company. “Cinemania” would be the best idea for
a company title.
But they went with “Sinemia.”
Where’d that word even come from?
Best as I can tell, the only prior
usage of that combination of letters was in the disease “tyrosinemia.”
What is “tyrosinemia”? According to
the U.S. National Library of Medicine, it is “a genetic disorder characterized
by disruptions in the multistep process that breaks down the amino acid
tyrosine, a building block of most proteins.”
Neato!
Neato!
I dug a little deeper in the
Academic literature and the earliest reference to the disease seems to be in a
2002 Acta Ophthalmologica Scandinavica issue. But I scanned the entire article
and couldn’t find it, so I can neither confirm or deny this. This paragraph has
been a boring waste of your time!
(FANCY ACADEMIC CITATION: "NOK2002 Scientific
Program." Acta Ophthalmologica Scandinavica, vol. 80, no. 4, 2002, pp. 407
- 461)
The first reference to
“tyrosinemia” I was legitimately able to verify was in a 2003 issue of Archives
of Pathology & Laboratory Medicine. They discuss “type I hereditary
tyrosinemia.”
(FANCY ACADEMIC CITATION: Lazure, Thierry, et al.
"Congenital Anerythremic Erythroleukemia Presenting As Hepatic
Failure." Archives of Pathology & Laboratory Medicine, vol. 127, no.
10, 2003, pp. 1362 - 1365)
That bit of fun aside, let’s
discuss the claims made on Sinemia’s Wikipedia page.
They claim to be founded in 2014,
but the only reference to back that up seems to be a dead LinkedIn link in a
footnote at the bottom of the page. I am skeptical.
The earliest references I could
independently verify on Sinemia were from early 2017.
So the mystery remains: who’s the
lying liar who claims the company came into existence in 2014? And what’s the
endgame on that nefarious deception? I mean, it’s not like backdating their
company creation date to 2014 makes them predate MoviePass. MoviePass started
in 2011.
So if Sinemia wanted to lie about their origin year, they should have chosen 2010. Then they could claim to be the first company to engage in this ticket-subscription-model cinemadness.
So if Sinemia wanted to lie about their origin year, they should have chosen 2010. Then they could claim to be the first company to engage in this ticket-subscription-model cinemadness.
I will not rest until I solve this
mystery.
Unless I get tired.
Then I’ll probably rest.
-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename
