From Sinemia/MoviePass to Eternity (Part 11 of ?)

Okay, let me help clarify Sinemia's new "unlimited" plan for $14.99 a month.

Short version: Sinemia will take your money for this plan and as soon as they spend more on the tickets you buy than the amount you initially gave them, they will cancel your account.

Long version: Math.

Based on what they did with my annual account (and with MANY others), here's how this will play out...

At $14.99 a month, the new "unlimited" plan costs about $180 a year. So let's say your local theater tickets are about $12. As soon as you watch 15 movies on your "unlimited" plan, Sinemia will cancel your account, accuse you of "fraud" or "misuse" and then offer you a "refund" of your original fee minus the amount they spent on your tickets. This "refund" will be approximately $0.

You'd be better off just buying a $180 gift card for your local theater, since that will cost the same and that's where your money is gonna go, anyway.

Plus, that way you haven't given your credit card number, personal information, and access to your phone to a lying, scumbag, scamarama company like Sinemia.

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I also keep seeing sponsored Sinemia ads for three movies for $6.99 a month in articles I read all over the Internet.

This is also complete bunk, for the reasons stated above.

And while we're here, let's discuss how they want to steal and sell your personal information.

Which would be fine if they were actually saving you a few bucks on movie tickets.

But they're not. They rigged the game so there's no way to save any money with their service. It's diabolically clever.

The time I spent as a customer with them felt great because I felt like I was seeing movies in the theater for about $3 each. But it was an illusion. I was actually paying full-price to see them the whole time. There's no way to realize you're doing so until they cancel your account and offer you the "pro-rated" refund.

So...props to them for being good villains?

*

Sinemia claims that "99 percent" of accounts are unaffected by Operation Scam Cancellation and that only "3 percent" of accounts were canceled.

You can't dispute their math, at least!


-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename

My "legitimate" books are on Amazon here and my Phony McFakename books are on Amazon here. I exist on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram but I only really post regularly on Instagram.

From Sinemia/MoviePass to Eternity (Part 10 of ?)

Since Sinemia canceled me, I haven't paid them much mind. I didn't plan to mention them again until my successful chargeback through my credit card company goes through.

But I feel a smidgen of schadenfreude when I hear that they're struggling so terribly and getting called out for their horseplay.

Apparently, the app was down over the entire opening weekend of Us. (MILD spoiler: My theory on Us is that it's actually a fantasy/art film/fairy tale masquerading as horror. It's a profoundly dark and sad story of a little girl lost and everything that happens is rooted in her suffering.)

This is the same thing MoviePass did the weekend of Mission Impossible 6 and they never recovered.

Sinemia blatantly throttled the app to avoid having to pay for tickets and replied to complaints with: “As stated in our Terms & Conditions, Sinemia is a non-refundable service...Could you please allow the automatic updates for the Sinemia app on your phone? We’re expecting the issue to be resolved very soon with a new update.”

That's what they always said when they throttled the app or screwed users in the past.

They're still canceling accounts like it's going out of style. Earning zero goodwill. And from that article, it looks like the media is finally catching on to the reason Sinemia is canceling the accounts. Because they don't want to spend a single dollar more than they make on each customer.

The mainstream media is slow to pick up on these things, but they get there eventually.

As noted philosopher Nelson Muntz said:

The only people that still like Sinemia are the ones who haven't been canceled. Yet.

Give them time.

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Some choice quotes and interesting thoughts from Uncle Teddy in here. ("Uncle Teddy" is of course MoviePass CEO Ted Farnsworth)

He says with the new Uncapped plan, to confirm you're seeing the movie yourself, they'll only ping you 30 minutes after you arrive at the theater, not creepily track you the whole time. That's progress.

As far as what will send them red flags on an "abusive" user who will get their app throttled: "It could be different things. It could be multiple locations. It could be multiple cities. It could be all kinds of different things. So those are all the algorithms that we’ve been building along the way."

So don't use your MoviePass in different cities, kids.

When asked about how Moviefone will add any value, he responds: "We just brought on Matt [Atchity], who was the creator of Rotten Tomatoes … We’ll start doing more. We just engaged a very well-known person for Moviefone that will start doing all our red-carpet events."

Well, that answers that.

He also makes the interesting boast that you'll be able to choose any movie on the app: "You have full inventory like the old days of what you’re able to go to, whether it’s a Marvel movie or whatever it is. And that’s what the people want. They don’t want curated movies."

And sure enough, there are reports that all screenings are showing up in the MoviePass app for the new Uncapped plan.

Hmm. Maybe I'll try this craziness. But only on a monthly basis. No more annual madness for me.

Those days are over.

I only have to get screwed by each movie subscription service once to learn not to do annual.


-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename

My "legitimate" books are on Amazon here and my Phony McFakename books are on Amazon here. I exist on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram but I only really post regularly on Instagram.

From Sinemia/MoviePass to Eternity (Part 9 of ?)

The most wonderful news of last week was that in the wake of re-offering their "unlimited" plan, MoviePass posted on Instagram for the first time in months.

And yes, you may have noticed that little detail at the bottom of the screen. That's right: THEY ARE NO LONGER DISABLING COMMENTS!

That means their posts are flooded with pent-up mockery and rage at the pathetic mess of a non-service the service has become.

It is a cathartic joy to read.

Never change, MoviePass. Never change.

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The biggest mystery of the new unlimited (or "Uncapped," as it seems to be getting branded) is what exactly will define "excessive usage" that will make them throttle your account?

Someone contacted customer service and maybe got an answer.

It sounds like ten movies a month won't get you throttled and almost no one will reach that, so maybe it's a non-worry?

But then again, you have to take anything they say and do with a grain of salt. Or many grains.

Heck, DOZENS of grains of salt.

*

I read all the other media outlets reporting on the "Uncapped" story, so you don't have to.

But if you want to:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2019/03/19/moviepass-brings-back-unlimited-movies/3215247002/
https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/3/19/18273160/moviepass-new-plan-uncapped-unlimited-march-2019
https://techcrunch.com/2019/03/19/moviepass-uncapped/
https://www.theverge.com/2019/3/20/18273941/moviepass-uncapped-price-film-screenings-movies-restrictions
https://www.cordcuttersnews.com/moviepass-new-uncapped-plan-is-9-95-month-for-a-limited-time/
https://www.elitedaily.com/p/this-new-moviepass-uncapped-plan-for-995-per-month-is-similar-to-its-original-offer-16969943https://www.whsv.com/content/news/507463002.html
https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2468692/moviepass-has-brought-unlimited-back-but-with-a-bunch-of-restrictions
http://www.wbrc.com/2019/03/20/moviepass-brings-back-uncapped-subscription-plan-with-few-catches/
https://www.proactiveinvestors.com/companies/news/217057/helios-and-matheson-ceo-touts-moviepass-member-perks-as-the-unlimited-subscription-plan-returns-217057.html
https://the-gadgeteer.com/2019/03/21/moviepass-tries-unlimited-again-with-limits/
http://www.brooklynvegan.com/moviepass-relaunching-unlimited-plan-blames-user-fraud-for-previous-troubles/
https://theinnersane.com/2019/03/22/moviepass-is-back-with-its-9-95-unlimited-subscription-plan-but-for-a-limited-time/

https://www.wrcbtv.com/story/40175199/what-the-tech-moviepass-returning-to-original-plan-with-slight-catch
https://www.fastcompany.com/90323351/the-dream-of-moviepass-lives-on-kind-of

All I really learned from reading all of them was that you can get the "Uncapped" plan for $14.95/month if you go monthly with a credit card and that MoviePass is gonna randomly raise the price to $19.95/month soon.

Surprise.

I also learned that most of those article writers got their facts wrong and clearly have no direct experience with MoviePass.

I can't say this enough: boycott all articles about MoviePass that weren't peer-reviewed by ME prior to publication!

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Not to be outdone, Alamo Drafthouse FINALLY released some details about their long-in-beta-testing unlimited movie plan:
https://uproxx.com/movies/moviepass-unlimited-plan-alamo-drafthouse/
https://www.businessinsider.com/alamo-drafthouse-movie-ticket-subscription-plan-will-launch-this-year-2019-3
https://www.slashfilm.com/alamo-drafthouse-season-pass/
https://www.kxan.com/news/local/austin/movie-membership-alamo-drafthouse-is-testing-a-monthly-pass/1861047286
https://www.businessinsider.com.au/alamo-drafthouse-movie-ticket-subscription-plan-will-launch-this-year-2019-3
https://www.geek.com/culture/alamo-drafthouse-moviepass-introduce-new-cinema-subscription-options-1779277/

Executive summary: They'll be releasing it later this year. It's $20/month.

Gonna respond with a firm "meh" to that.

As I recall, Alamo's original plan for their "Season Pass" service was ONLY going to be for first-run movies. Not for specialty one-off screenings.

Which is a total dealbreaker, as the one-off screenings are the best thing about Alamo theaters.

They are suspiciously silent about whether or not this new version of their unlimited plan will exclude their best offerings.

Because other than these specialty screenings, my local Alamo almost NEVER plays any movies that aren't already playing at other area theaters. It's pathetic, really. You can see the new Marvel movie or Tyler Perry comedy on multiple screens at the Alamo, but they don't play Anna and the Apocalypse, Lords of Chaos, Under the Silver Lake, or even They Shall Not Grow Old.

Much to their discredit, I saw previews for Anna and Silver Lake multiple times at the Alamo. And they never once played them. Not even for one night.

Alamo's quickly becoming another generic mainstream theater that sometimes shows a cool movie for one night only.

My local Regal does that, too. Through Fathom Events and sometimes just at random, they'll show the original Nightmare on Elm Street or a crazy anime film or a live Rifftrax show or an opera or classics like Gone with the Wind.

It's making Alamo look awfully weak in comparison.

Alamo is just as corporate as any corporate theater now.

Also their servers walk back-and-forth in front of you and/or bump the back of your seat all the way through your movie.

Don't know if I mentioned that before.

*

The MoviePass CEO proudly boasted that with all the zazz coming from their new uncapped plan, they're FINALLY profitable.

The very next day he walked back that claim.

And I wonder...what shall he say tomorrow?

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One of the original MoviePass founders is working on an app called PreShow that sounds exactly like that episode of Black Mirror where ads play on the walls of your room and they can tell if you close your eyes or look away.

With the PreShow app, you can watch 15-20 minutes of ads to get a credit card loaded with credits to watch a free movie.

Stacy Spikes put his own money and Kickstarter cash (WHO SUPPORTED THIS!?) in order to create this.

Please stop talking about it, as you're just encouraging it:
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/moviepass-stacy-spikes-preshow-205128475.html
https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900061739/moviepass-ceo-preshow-facial-recognition-free-movie-tickets-ads.html
https://futurism.com/moviepass-eye-tracking-ads
https://www.geek.com/tech/watch-20-minutes-of-ads-to-earn-free-movie-tickets-1779635/
https://www.slashfilm.com/preshow/
https://techcrunch.com/2019/03/21/preshow-kickstarter/
https://www.engadget.com/2019/03/21/preshow-free-movie-tickets/
https://mashable.com/article/moviepass-preshow-app/#IukznUK_DsqT

This is the only article that openly advocates revolution against it, so props to that writer. Extra props for her identifying this tech as "indentured consumerism."
 Apparently only this thing's Kickstarter supporters will be initially able to join in this grand experiment.

Yeah, you all enjoy that.

*

This guy wrote a fairly detailed two-part analysis of lessons to learn from MoviePass' failures.

His analysis is actually pretty good and I have no serious beef with them.

They may exist. They have my permission.

*

And these might be big stories, but they're pretty much just footnotes here, and in the public perception.

MoviePass hired a new CFO after the last one quit hard.

That might mean something. I guess? Time will tell.

And here's a list of awards MoviePass films have won.

Awards are pretty serious prestige things, so that might also mean something. I guess?

We all mocked Gotti (I was one of three people in the single screening that came to my town), but MoviePass' other films look pretty solid. Can confirm American Animals was pretty great.

Maybe MoviePass should just drop all the other subscription-ticket nonsense and become a film studio?

*

In Sinemia news, I went ahead and filed for a chargeback with Mastercard.

Was painless.

They said it will take 60 days and will require "Additional documentation" from me.

I told them all they needed to do was Google "Sinemia." That will tell them everything.

But I'll play along. I think I'll be fine.


-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename

My "legitimate" books are on Amazon here and my Phony McFakename books are on Amazon here. I exist on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram but I only really post regularly on Instagram.

From Sinemia/MoviePass to Eternity (Part 8 of ?)

No response from Sinemia on my demands for account reinstatement or a proper pro-rated refund after they wrongfully terminated me nine months early along with an untold number of other innocents.

The only word back I got was from their Twitter customer support rep. They were super-cagey, and when I asked for specifics about my account...they said they don't have access to my account details.

Process that: the Sinemia customer service people...do not have access to Sinemia customer accounts.

That's nuts. Unless they're lying. And they'd never lie, would they? No, I think not.

Next steps: filing a complaint with the ol' Better Business Bureau (I recommend you do the same) and contacting Mastercard to get a chargeback from the fraudsters who named their company after a fatal infancy illness (Tyrosinemia).

More to come!

*

The big dumb news from MoviePass this week is that they're finally bringing back their "unlimited plan." It's got people talking:

https://www.businessinsider.com/moviepass-bringing-back-unlimited-plan-details-2019-3
http://gothamist.com/2019/03/18/moviepass_revives_unlimited_plan_with_a_catch.php
https://www.cnet.com/news/moviepass-brings-the-10-unlimited-movies-plan-back-with-new-twists/
https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900061046/report-moviepass-is-bringing-back-its-dollar995-unlimited-plan-with-a-catch-of-course.html
https://www.complex.com/pop-culture/2019/03/moviepass-launching-retooled-version-unlimited-plan
https://www.thewrap.com/moviepass-is-not-dead-coming-back-with-unlimited-movie-plan/

And it's a mess.

Trying to parse the signal out of all the noise is tough, so I'm gonna try bullet points:

-It's still $9.95/month.
-You have to pay for a year in advance by giving them your BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATION.
-Their terms of service don't just threaten, but PROMISE to throttle availability if you actually use the service.
-No, wait, the service is $14.95/month now.
-You can only get tickets three hours in advance and then there's a narrow check-in window around the selected showtime.
-They will ping your phone during the movie to make sure you are actually seeing the movie you got a ticket for.

Those last two points sound reasonable...if you haven't ever used MoviePass.

Being pinged during the movie? Fine. If the user can actually get a ticket with the app. But with the three-hour restriction, there's no way.

The ONLY WAY you can currently get tickets with MoviePass is to go there right when the box office opens to get a ticket for later that night, since they usually only make night-time showings available anyway. And then they shut down the app around 1pm each day.

MoviePass makes it IMPOSSIBLE to actually go to the theater, get a ticket, and see a movie all in one trip.

So that restriction where you can only get a ticket within three hours of the showtime? Deal-breaker. It means they will only make 4pm and 7pm screenings available and shut down the app at 1pm to ensure no one can actually get a ticket. It's almost brilliant in its pure Kafkaesque evil. I am in awe.

I mean, even their landing page has the fine print saying they're going to screw you right below the offering. It actually refers you to the EXACT section of their dreaded Terms of Use that they will cite when they screw you.

Translation: "UNLIMITED! YAY! THE MOVIEPASS YOU LOVE IS BACK! GO SEE IT ALL! (also if you watch more than an unspecified number of movies we will permanently destroy your account and there's nothing you can do about it because you already paid us for a year in advance direct from your bank account and it's almost impossible for you to get a refund when the funds were transferred that way rather than with a credit card, which offers chargeback protection in cases of fraud, hey now that I think about it you're never gonna be able to use your account to see anything anyway due to our nefarious app design, so we're all good here at MoviePass, give us your bank account information please thanks)"

If anyone actually CAN get a ticket with the service, I am fascinated and curious to know at which usage level they will start to throttle you. Five movies a month? Three? One?

This smells like a desperate final cash grab by a company on the verge of implosion looking to drain the coffers of a few suckers on its way down.

But humans have underestimated MoviePass before. And MoviePass kept going. Who knows? Not me. Not you. Not even Auntie Roo.

I look forward to watching this train wreck play out, but I'm not buying a ticket for it.

*

These stories from last week seem almost like an afterthought in comparison.

They're somehow planning to make lots of money with their big new plan of making movies and leveraging their user base to see those movies.

So just like with their megahit productions such as Gotti with John Travolta...they plan to get MoviePass users to use MoviePass to see MoviePass movies...thus effectively paying for tickets to their own movies?

Every single thing MoviePass says in those two articles is utter gibberish and I was planning to spend this entire blog entry mocking them mercilessly, but then they dropped their unlimited plan news and this became an afterthought.

Clever strategy to avoid my incisive criticism there, MoviePass!

*

Oh, and OF COURSE MoviePass is in all kinds of new mega-turmoil, losing track of their revenue and losing their hotshot new executive who was gonna turn things around there. It seems like a few media outlets picked up on this latter story:
https://gizmodo.com/does-anyone-still-work-at-moviepass-1833271028

https://www.engadget.com/2019/03/14/moviepass-khalid-itum/

https://variety.com/2019/film/news/moviepass-executive-leaves-company-1203162827/

https://deadline.com/2019/03/moviepass-khalid-itum-exits-1202575308/

http://fortune.com/2019/03/13/khalid-itum-moviepass/
https://deadline.com/2019/03/moviepass-parent-companys-cfo-resigns-to-take-another-job-1202576373/
https://qz.com/1574233/the-worst-job-at-moviepasss-parent-company-is-now-open/
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/moviepass-parent-helios-matheson-cfo-quits-to-take-another-job-2019-03-15
https://www.businessinsider.com/moviepass-parent-company-cfo-has-resigned-2019-3

People have been saying MoviePass is going to go out of business for 19 straight months now. Yet it keeps existing.

Heck, I used it to see a movie Saturday night. Got to the box office at 9:30am to pull that maneuver off. You gotta really want it if you're gonna get it.

MoviePass is officially the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with both arms and both legs chopped off, still feisty and ready to scrap.


-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename

My "legitimate" books are on Amazon here and my Phony McFakename books are on Amazon here. I exist on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram but I only really post regularly on Instagram.

Favorite Quotes: February/March 2019

“Time is just as important as space; art, like shelter, is supposed to enrich your life, not make it more addled.”

Mary McNamara

“Let's get one thing straight! A successful semester to me means making out with as many cute boys as possible. Let's put it this way: anything in pants!”

-Aenigma (1988)

“You think ghosts like living in a haunted house?”

-Legion

“I feel like [Us] proves a very valid and different point than Get Out, which is, not everything is about race. Get Out proved the point that everything is about race. I’ve proved both points!”

-Jordan Peele, director of Us and Get Out

“What do you believe in?”

“Sex and death. Two things that come once in a lifetime.”

-Sleeper

“Nothing recedes like success.”

-Deathtrap

“The newly arrived dogs and cats seemed to be cooperating with each other in their assault on the devil’s cats. It was a dog and cat fight to end them all ... literally.”

“More than a hundred pounds of God-sent dog hit the creature as she was attempting to get to her one remaining foot.”

-William Johnstone, The Devil’s Cat

Rhonda: ‘Do you even have a suspect?’

Lieutenant Morgan: ‘As a matter of fact, I have several. It’s just the motive I can’t quite figure out.’

-Killer Workout

“Sometimes your heart cuts a fart. No one wants to smell that.”

-Seth Green

“A good book is an event in my life.”

“One can acquire everything in solitude except character.”

“Politics in a literary work, is like a gun shot in the middle of a concert, something vulgar, and however, something which is impossible to ignore.”

-Stendhal

“It’s too dark, man.”

“I don’t care.”

-True Detective, season 3

"Well, once there was only dark. If you ask me, the light's winning."

True Detective, season 1

'Pardon me,’ I said, preserving with an effort the polished suavity demanded from an English gentleman when chewing the rag with one of the other sex, ‘you’re talking through the back of your fatheaded little neck.'

“Who was Jezebel, by the way? The name seems familiar, but I can’t place her.”

“A character in the Old Testament, sir. A queen of Israel.”

“Of course, yes. Be forgetting my own name next. Eaten by dogs, wasn’t she?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Can’t have been pleasant for her.”

“No, sir.”

“Still, that’s the way the ball rolls.“

P.G. Wodehouse, Jeeves in the Offing

John Connor: “We’re not gonna make it, are we? Humans, I mean.”

Terminator: “It’s in your nature to destroy yourselves.”

-Terminator 2

"Now remember, class, a horse-head bookend will be your whole life. You don't need drugs, you don't need women, you don't need friends, you don't need your parents...as long as you have the ability to make horse-head bookends."

-Student Bodies

-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename

My "legitimate" books are on Amazon here and my Phony McFakename books are on Amazon here. I exist on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram but I only really post regularly on Instagram.