The only word back I got was from their Twitter customer support rep. They were super-cagey, and when I asked for specifics about my account...they said they don't have access to my account details.
Process that: the Sinemia customer service people...do not have access to Sinemia customer accounts.
That's nuts. Unless they're lying. And they'd never lie, would they? No, I think not.
Next steps: filing a complaint with the ol' Better Business Bureau (I recommend you do the same) and contacting Mastercard to get a chargeback from the fraudsters who named their company after a fatal infancy illness (Tyrosinemia).
More to come!
*
The big dumb news from MoviePass this week is that they're finally bringing back their "unlimited plan." It's got people talking:
https://www.businessinsider.com/moviepass-bringing-back-unlimited-plan-details-2019-3
http://gothamist.com/2019/03/18/moviepass_revives_unlimited_plan_with_a_catch.php
https://www.cnet.com/news/moviepass-brings-the-10-unlimited-movies-plan-back-with-new-twists/
https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900061046/report-moviepass-is-bringing-back-its-dollar995-unlimited-plan-with-a-catch-of-course.html
https://www.complex.com/pop-culture/2019/03/moviepass-launching-retooled-version-unlimited-plan
https://www.thewrap.com/moviepass-is-not-dead-coming-back-with-unlimited-movie-plan/
And it's a mess.
Trying to parse the signal out of all the noise is tough, so I'm gonna try bullet points:
-It's still $9.95/month.
-You have to pay for a year in advance by giving them your BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATION.
-Their terms of service don't just threaten, but PROMISE to throttle availability if you actually use the service.
-No, wait, the service is $14.95/month now.
-You can only get tickets three hours in advance and then there's a narrow check-in window around the selected showtime.
-They will ping your phone during the movie to make sure you are actually seeing the movie you got a ticket for.
Those last two points sound reasonable...if you haven't ever used MoviePass.
Being pinged during the movie? Fine. If the user can actually get a ticket with the app. But with the three-hour restriction, there's no way.
The ONLY WAY you can currently get tickets with MoviePass is to go there right when the box office opens to get a ticket for later that night, since they usually only make night-time showings available anyway. And then they shut down the app around 1pm each day.
MoviePass makes it IMPOSSIBLE to actually go to the theater, get a ticket, and see a movie all in one trip.
So that restriction where you can only get a ticket within three hours of the showtime? Deal-breaker. It means they will only make 4pm and 7pm screenings available and shut down the app at 1pm to ensure no one can actually get a ticket. It's almost brilliant in its pure Kafkaesque evil. I am in awe.
I mean, even their landing page has the fine print saying they're going to screw you right below the offering. It actually refers you to the EXACT section of their dreaded Terms of Use that they will cite when they screw you.
Translation: "UNLIMITED! YAY! THE MOVIEPASS YOU LOVE IS BACK! GO SEE IT ALL! (also if you watch more than an unspecified number of movies we will permanently destroy your account and there's nothing you can do about it because you already paid us for a year in advance direct from your bank account and it's almost impossible for you to get a refund when the funds were transferred that way rather than with a credit card, which offers chargeback protection in cases of fraud, hey now that I think about it you're never gonna be able to use your account to see anything anyway due to our nefarious app design, so we're all good here at MoviePass, give us your bank account information please thanks)"
If anyone actually CAN get a ticket with the service, I am fascinated and curious to know at which usage level they will start to throttle you. Five movies a month? Three? One?
This smells like a desperate final cash grab by a company on the verge of implosion looking to drain the coffers of a few suckers on its way down.
But humans have underestimated MoviePass before. And MoviePass kept going. Who knows? Not me. Not you. Not even Auntie Roo.
I look forward to watching this train wreck play out, but I'm not buying a ticket for it.
*
These stories from last week seem almost like an afterthought in comparison.
They're somehow planning to make lots of money with their big new plan of making movies and leveraging their user base to see those movies.
So just like with their megahit productions such as Gotti with John Travolta...they plan to get MoviePass users to use MoviePass to see MoviePass movies...thus effectively paying for tickets to their own movies?
Every single thing MoviePass says in those two articles is utter gibberish and I was planning to spend this entire blog entry mocking them mercilessly, but then they dropped their unlimited plan news and this became an afterthought.
Clever strategy to avoid my incisive criticism there, MoviePass!
*
Oh, and OF COURSE MoviePass is in all kinds of new mega-turmoil, losing track of their revenue and losing their hotshot new executive who was gonna turn things around there. It seems like a few media outlets picked up on this latter story:
https://gizmodo.com/does-anyone-still-work-at-moviepass-1833271028
https://www.engadget.com/2019/03/14/moviepass-khalid-itum/
https://variety.com/2019/film/news/moviepass-executive-leaves-company-1203162827/
https://deadline.com/2019/03/moviepass-khalid-itum-exits-1202575308/
http://fortune.com/2019/03/13/khalid-itum-moviepass/
https://deadline.com/2019/03/moviepass-parent-companys-cfo-resigns-to-take-another-job-1202576373/
https://qz.com/1574233/the-worst-job-at-moviepasss-parent-company-is-now-open/
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/moviepass-parent-helios-matheson-cfo-quits-to-take-another-job-2019-03-15
https://www.businessinsider.com/moviepass-parent-company-cfo-has-resigned-2019-3
People have been saying MoviePass is going to go out of business for 19 straight months now. Yet it keeps existing.
Heck, I used it to see a movie Saturday night. Got to the box office at 9:30am to pull that maneuver off. You gotta really want it if you're gonna get it.
MoviePass is officially the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with both arms and both legs chopped off, still feisty and ready to scrap.
-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename
No comments:
Post a Comment