From Sinemia/MoviePass to Eternity (Part 6 of ?)

Well, I survived the Sinemia cut.

I successfully used the service to see Arctic last Friday and my account still existed.

The consensus I'm getting from online chatter is that people are getting arbitrarily canceled if their annual accounts are more than 90 days old.

My account is now 91 days old. 

I'm gonna try to see that Apollo 11 documentary this weekend.

If I'm gonna get canceled, this will be the time.

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And so far, I managed to avoid this insanity, too.

That's right. Some Sinemia users are getting a screen on the app asking for a TIP.

I already absolutely jumping-up-and-down hate the tip-ification of every service and industry in our society (Sonic is one of the most egregious examples of tipping used as a weapon against employees).

So asking for a tip on a service where I already paid for a year in advance? Nope. Nope squared. Don't even think about thinking about it.

You want a tip? Here's a tip: Don't ask for tips, especially when you're in the middle of arbitrarily canceling hundreds (thousands?) of accounts without cause.

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This is redonkulous, too.

It sounds like a good idea. Using Sinemia's service without actually buying a subscription or paying on a monthly basis. A $100 gift card for the price of $70 that you can use any time for any movie? Hey, that's basically a 30% discount on movie tickets!

Here's the catch: fees.

If you want to get your tickets online or in advance, you're paying an additional $3.30-$4.20 per ticket. And let's say your average ticket price is $10. And let's say fees are $4.20. Do a complex calculus equation in your head and you'll see the BEST you can do will be seven tickets on that $100 gift card, as that's $70 in tickets and $29.40 in fees.

$70 in tickets. That's the exact amount you spent on the gift card. So you could have just spent that $70 at the box office on those ten tickets without getting wrapped up in a confusopoly of gifts cards and fees and math, oh my.

BONUS: you can also use the gift card via a physical card at the theater in person. The cost of the physical card? $49.99. So do another complex calculus equation in your head and that's $70 for the gift card plus $49.99 for the physical card, meaning...

You're spending $119.99 for $100 of movie tickets.

That sounds simply TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!

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Meanwhile, in MoviePassLand, things are looking up!

That's right, their stock price is now ABOVE A PENNY PER SHARE!

Take that, all you doubters and haters! MoviePass is rolling in the mad phat stacks of cash! Of course, they're doing it by basically trying to pivot into being a movie production studio instead of anything to do with their initial service idea.

But still: Over a penny per share, fool! WHAT?!

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On the other hand, MoviePass also apparently lost count of how many members they actually have.

This is a very diplomatic way of saying, "We lost a gazillion members by throttling our service and don't want to admit our subscriber count is now in the low six digits even though we do everything we can to block people from canceling their accounts.

But a gentleman lets a lady maintain her illusions.

Let us extend this courtesy to the Pass of Movies.

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You know, I don't talk much about pop culture on this blog anymore. Movies and books and shows and such. Blogging energy has been almost 100% reallocated to this movie ticket subscription service madness. But I still enjoy pop culture. And un-pop culture.

Real quick, here's some movies I've enjoyed over the last couple months, to varying degrees: Arctic, Bathtubs Over Broadway, Greta, Happy Death Day 2 U, The Prodigy, Cold Pursuit, Alita: Battle Angel, Lego Movie 2, Serenity, They Shall Not Grow Old, Glass, and Escape Room.

There's a nuanced conversation to be had about every one of those films, especially Glass and Serenity. But there's already enough subjective opinions on movies sprawled out all over the Internet (and they're getting increasingly toxic/political/divisive). 

So instead, something I know I can offer that I'm not finding anywhere else is a unique, informative, and (hopefully) entertaining opinion on the current MoviePass/Sinemia kookiness. I feel my time is better spent there, as no one else online (or offline) is doing this with an insider's perspective.

I bring this up because a whole lotta stories like this are still somehow getting published. Stories about people shocked their MoviePass accounts aren't working. This was hot news in July of 2018.

All media organizations and outlets officially need to consult with me as a freelance expert before running any story on MoviePass or Sinemia. I can act as a filter for whether it's worth publishing or not.

And you can pay my freelance fees with Sinemia gift cards.

-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename

My "legitimate" books are on Amazon here and my Phony McFakename books are on Amazon here. I exist on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram but I only really post regularly on Instagram.