It stars Nicolas Cage and Hayden Christensen. Any questions?
"Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation"
Much like the "Fast"/"Furious" films, these get better as they go along. Some fantastic action set pieces, stunningly well-shot.
"Harmontown"
Emotionally overwhelming and draining but compelling portrait of the mad genius behind the TV show "Community."
"Kung Fu Hustle"
"Looney Tunes" meets Bruce Lee. Lots of wild tonal shifts and jaw-dropping visuals.
"Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation"
Much like the "Fast"/"Furious" films, these get better as they go along. Some fantastic action set pieces, stunningly well-shot.
Emotionally overwhelming and draining but compelling portrait of the mad genius behind the TV show "Community."
"Kung Fu Hustle"
"Looney Tunes" meets Bruce Lee. Lots of wild tonal shifts and jaw-dropping visuals.
"Woman in Gold"
Helen Mirren plays a lady trying to get back a famous piece of art stolen from her family by the Nazis. Well-handled and suspenseful and heartfelt. Ryan Reynolds looks nothing like Green Lantern or Deadpool in this film.
"The Longest Yard"
People gave Adam Sandler money to remake a perfectly fine 70's Burt Reynolds film.
"The Cobbler"
People keep giving Adam Sandler money to make movies.
Fascinating (and mouth-watering) documentary about the history of General Tso's Chicken.
"Alive"
Plane crashes in the Andes. Rugby team turns to cannibalism to survive. Not bad.
"Todd Barry: The Crowd Work Tour"
Comedian goes on tour without any material, his entire show is interacting and goofing on the audience. Frequently brilliant deadpan humor.
"Inside Out"
Not saying I cried. Not saying I didn't. These Pixar guys- they're going places.
"The Prince"
Netflix tries to trick you into thinking this is a Bruce Willis movie. He's barely in it. Fortunately, it's a Jason Patric film and he's a highly underrated actor and he's great here, a retired killer trying to rescue his daughter. Solid low budget action.
"Bernie"
Jack Black brilliantly portrays a lovable mortician who commits murder and is forgiven by his entire community due to his charisma. True story.
It took three films for them to get it right. Despite some good moments, the first one couldn't decide if it was a loving callback to 80's action films or a satire of them. The second one was way too goofy and collapsed under the weight of its wink-wink nudge-nudge in the final act. But this one is some Goldilocks-level lukewarm porridge. Just right. Bonus points: Mel Gibson plays a fantastic and surprisingly well-written villain.
"The Boxtrolls"
Exquisite, unusual, beautiful, and dark stop-motion fairy tale.
"Mad Max: Fury Road"
Great full-throttle non-CGI action. And that is all.
"Rosewater"
Jon Stewart wrote and directed a movie. It's not bad, it's just that it's 90% a poor schmuck getting beaten and interrogated in a small room. But it's good, I guess?
"The Benchwarmers"
10 minutes in and I just couldn't take it anymore. That "Napoleon Dynamite" guy had one performance in him and he just keeps doing various variations on it. Call me a Jon Heder hater.
"Rosewater"
Jon Stewart wrote and directed a movie. It's not bad, it's just that it's 90% a poor schmuck getting beaten and interrogated in a small room. But it's good, I guess?
"The Benchwarmers"
10 minutes in and I just couldn't take it anymore. That "Napoleon Dynamite" guy had one performance in him and he just keeps doing various variations on it. Call me a Jon Heder hater.
"Terminator: Genesys"
It's exactly what you would expect it to be. Maybe even more so.
"An Amish Murder"
Not bad, but "Brigham City" did all this stuff better.
"Conan the Barbarian"
Some good moments, but duller than I remember as a kid. Also now that I've read the Robert E. Howard stories it's based on...they really missed the mark. The backstory and characterization are way off.
"Maps to the Stars"
I keep watching everything David Cronenberg puts out because I loved his 70's and 80's films. I need to stop. Some dark comic bits work, but this is an ugly mess overall.
"Maps to the Stars"
I keep watching everything David Cronenberg puts out because I loved his 70's and 80's films. I need to stop. Some dark comic bits work, but this is an ugly mess overall.
A heartfelt, serious zombie film where zombie-ism has been cured but the cure is in short supply and people start reverting. Well made.
"Chappie"
It's time we all accept that this dude made "District 9" and it was cool. And he probably doesn't have another good movie in him. "Elysium" was strike one. This is two. It never stops feeling like a half-cheesy, half-gritty cross between "Robocop" and "Short Circuit."
"Chappie"
It's time we all accept that this dude made "District 9" and it was cool. And he probably doesn't have another good movie in him. "Elysium" was strike one. This is two. It never stops feeling like a half-cheesy, half-gritty cross between "Robocop" and "Short Circuit."
"20 Feet from Stardom"
Great documentary about background singers. Well worth your time.
"Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed"
Written by the guy who went on to write and direct "Guardians of the Galaxy." It's not as good.
"Creep"
Not a fan of found-footage films, but this one is an eerie and deeply unsettling gem.
"A Force of One"
Early 80's mustache-adorned Chuck Norris unleashes roundhouse kicks and teaches cops how to fight a karate killer on a rampage around the city. Nice long takes, slow pacing. They don't make 'em like this anymore.
Chuck Norris again. He just doesn't look right with the mustache. He needs the full beard for me to feel comfortable watching him beat up the bad guys. His roundhouse kicks are great here, but the rest of the movie's surprisingly dull and lifeless, despite all the ninjamania action.
"Delta Force"
Yeah, I was on a Chuck Norris bender. I was heavily medicated after surgery on my leg. Sue me. I've heard this is a popular one, but it was my least favorite of the bunch. Chuck the Firetruck finally has his beard. And Lee Marvin is great. But like half of this film's two-hour running time is people sneaking around or Muslim terrorists spouting ideology on a plane they hijacked. There's no action until the last 20 minutes. Weak, I say.
"Late Phases"
Nice werewolf effects. Dana Ashbrook is in it and he turned into a werewolf in his first film, "Waxwork." If that was a deliberate shout-out to that film by these filmmakers, GOOD ON THEM.
"Sum of All Fears"
I don't remember why people hated this movie so much a decade ago. Its international politics and lost-nuke plot are super-relevant today. And Ben Affleck isn't that bad in it.
"[REC] 4: Apocalipsis"
The second and third one were fun. This one is just dull and pointless. This zombie franchise must end before it's too late.
"Faults"
Superb psychological thriller about a cultist deprogrammer, edited by a friend from my hometown. So I'm biased. But it's really good!
* * *
1. Random free footnote- I enjoy most movies I watch because I usually give up on them before they waste too much of my time. So for the record, I dropped the following flicks in the first few minutes because reasons. As your librarian I advise you to avoid:
"Java Heat"
"These Final Hours"
"Monsters: Dark Continent"
"The Walking Deceased"
"Honeymoon"
"Homefront"
"Hostage"
"Plague"
"Hostage"
"Plague"
"Extraterrestrial"
"Sabotage"
"Killer Mermaid"
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