The evil Vaxx knocked on Jenny's door.
The heroic Jenny held her daughter close.
“We can’t let them take our little girl away to get the Vaxx injection!” Jenny said to her husband.
“I know,” said her husband, who was named Andrew Wakefield. “They are trying to force us to let them give her the Vaxx injection. But we know it’s bad!”
“I know,” said Jenny.
They were in the near-future
apocalypse world of 2017. The government was taken over by the doctors who
wanted to force everyone to get injected with autism so they couldn’t fight back. These
doctors were called "The Vaxx." They were evil.
Their daughter looked at the door, which made a knocking noise again.
“Please, mother and father, don’t let them give me autism!”
“Fear not!” Andrew Wakefield said.
“We will never let them get you with their Vaxx injection!”
Andrew Wakefield and his wife,
Jenny, were the only two parents in their neighborhood who knew the truth about
the Vaxx injection. They tried to tell people, but people wouldn’t listen. The people all thought the Vaxx injection was good for them because that’s what they were
told. Now it was too late. All the people had autism. Only Andrew Wakefield and
Jenny and their little girl didn’t.
But then the Vaxx found out. Jenny
heard the whole thing because she put a tape recorder in the Vaxx office after
she snuck in there. This is what she heard on the cassette she recorded:
“Are all the people now infected
with the Vaxx injection?”
“Yes, my lord. All but three.”
“Impossible! My evil Vaxx, who used
to be doctors before they took over the government and forced their unproven
science on the world, were instructed to give EVERYONE the Vaxx injection.”
“True, my lord. But one woman named
Jenny discovered our secret evil plot and refused the injection. She protected
her daughter and her husband, who is named Andrew Wakefield, from our wicked
Vaxx injection.”
“So she doesn’t have autism?”
“No, my lord. And neither do her
daughter or her husband, Andrew Wakefield.”
“Unacceptable! You must go give them
the Vaxx injection right now.”
“Yes, my lord. We will go force them
to get the Vaxx injection.”
“Hahaha. Because after all, hahaha,
we know...WHAT’S BEST FOR THEM!”
“Yes, my lord. Hahaha. Hahaha!”
“Hahaha!”
Jenny locked her front door as soon
as she heard the cassette that said that stuff.
But the evil Vaxx found them anyway.
The Vaxx agent knocked
on their door again, even harder this time.
“You can’t force us to take the Vaxx
injection!” screamed Andrew Wakefield.
“That is true,” the Vaxx agent said,
then he laughed. “Because you are adults, we can not legally force you to take the Vaxx
injection.”
“A-ha!” screamed Jenny. Jenny used
to pose naked in magazines before she discovered the truth about the Vaxx.
“But!” interjected the Vaxx agent.
“Your child is not an adult! So you are legally forced to let us give her the
Vaxx injection!”
“Mommy! Daddy! I don’t want autism!”
cried out their daughter, who was named Innocence.
“Oh, Innocence!” cried Jenny. “We
don’t want to let them give you autism!”
“But you have no choice!” cackled
the Vaxx agent.
“That is not fair!” yodeled Andrew
Wakefield.
“Oh, but it is fair,” snarled the Vaxx agent. “Because after all, we know...WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU!”
All the Vaxx agents outside all laughed at this in a very evil way.
“We must fight them!” whispered
Jenny to Andrew Wakefield.
“But how? We are only armed with the
truth!” whispered Andrew Wakefield back to her. Andrew Wakefield was fired from
several jobs for deliberately falsifying his scientific research.
“Sometimes…” Jenny said. “The truth
is enough!”
Jenny triumphantly stood up, opened the front
door, and glowing waves of rainbow-colored light burst out of her heart and
murdered all the Vaxx agents that were outside her house.
“Yay!” Andrew Wakefield and his
daughter, Innocence, said at the same time. “You defeated the evil Vaxx
agents!”
"I know," said Jenny.
“How did you do it?” asked Andrew
Wakefield.
“With the power of the truth!”
shouted Jenny, whose last name was McCarthy. “And
now it’s time for us to take the truth to the bad guys!”
They held hands and skipped off in
the direction of the Vaxx office, so they could murder the evil guys who Jenny
McCarthy recorded on that cassette.
The little girl, Innocence, smiled
up at her mom. “Thanks for not letting them give me autism, mommy!”
“Oh, you’re welcome, my dear. You
are welcome!”
Her husband smiled a big smile at
her. “You’re a hero!”
“No,” Jenny McCarthy said. “I’m not
a hero. I’m just a heroic woman armed with the truth. And I’ll use the power of the
truth to save everyone!”
She smiled with joy as more glowing rainbow waves of light shot forth from her heart and lit up the sky. People from miles around saw the blazing multi-colored display and were instantly cured of autism.
She smiled with joy as more glowing rainbow waves of light shot forth from her heart and lit up the sky. People from miles around saw the blazing multi-colored display and were instantly cured of autism.
"The truth is so beautiful!" Innocence said as she smiled up at the rainbow of truth power.
"It sure is!" Jenny said. "It sure is!"
-Phony McFakename
"It sure is!" Jenny said. "It sure is!"
-Phony McFakename
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