Cinemasterworks: Movie "Reviews," December 2016

I don't watch as many movies as I used to. I've become more of a TV casualty than a film buff. Oh well.

I'm also writing fiction non-stop and my right shoulder is in nearly constant pain from bad posture and uncomfortable chairs so I have to conserve my writing time. Probably done writing a review of every little thing I watch (or read) and will just let you know what's COOL, COOL (With obvious reservations), MEH, and flat-out NO. To qualify as a NO, I have to get sick of it within minutes and quit.

Let's watch!

COOL
Doctor Strange
My Name is Doris
I Am Not a Serial Killer 
St. Vincent 
Craptastic Number Two (Best film ever made. The co-director of this film, Bryan Kasik, is a genius.)

What We Become

Miami Connection
No Escape (2015)
Dementia-13

Quartet

The Rainmaker
Afflicted

MST3K: Zombie Nightmare

Elvis and Nixon

The Shallows

Jim Gaffigan: Mr. Universe

Jim Gaffigan: King Baby

Jim Gaffigan: Obsessed

COOL (But naughty)
Jackass 2.5 
Jackass 3.5
Hardcore Henry

The Nice Guys

Straight Outta Compton
Louis CK: Live at the Comedy Store
John Dies at the End

OKAY
187

Messiah of Evil
Son in Law

Encino Man

Dreamcatcher (First half- second half is NOPE)

Knock Knock

The Wave

Allegiant
Baskin

Everybody Wants Some!!

Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

The Losers (2010)

Suicide Squad

Jeff Foxworthy/Larry the Cable Guy: We've Been Thinking

Olympus Has Fallen
London Has Fallen

Mexico Barbaro

Fright Night Part II

Ghostheads 
Brooklyn (If you liked it- FINE. Don't yell at me.)

NOPE 
JeruZalem

Zombie Cop (Best title, worst movie)

Hitman

Neon Demon (Became squirmy and unwatchable even before the hideously grotesque stuff)

Joe Rogan: Triggered

Rob Zombie's 31 (Zombie is awesome and cool in every interview he gives. Then he writes movies where every character- good and bad- is a wretched and unlikable jerk. What gives?) 
Neon Maniacs

Dying of the Light

I Am Wrath (Travolta's hair is amazing, though.)

Our Brand is Crisis (Not bad, just too stressful.)

The Forest 
Zombie (Way worse than I remembered it- props for the NYC scenes, though!)

Lucy

Vacation

Gymkata (Just watch clips of the fights on YouTube- the movie itself drags)

Jaws 3

Inherent Vice

Funny or Die Presents: Donald Trump's The Art of the Deal: The Movie

Punk's Dead: SLC Punk 2

Shock 'em Dead


-Phony McFakename

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