Here
it is, another monthly collection of my favorite quotes I read recently:
“Empty
cop cars are basically just scarecrows for people.”
-reddit
“One
Nation, Under Surveillance”
-Tagline
for the film Snowden
"Don't
wake an eye to watch it sleep"
-my
misheard lyric for The Cure’s
“Don’t
wake at night to watch her sleep”
-The
Cure, “Burn”
“In
a touching Valentine’s Day gesture, a man gave his wife one of his own kidneys.
Terrified, she dropped the kidney, and ran out of the restaurant screaming.”
“And
in music news, number one on the college charts this summer was Better Than
Ezra. And at number two? Ezra.”
-Norm
MacDonald, Saturday Night Live
"Eventually, all the full-blooded humans in America would become extinct along with all of the full-blooded netrons, leaving a new world for their children. After death, the spirits of the netrons and the humans would be downloaded back into the Cybernetrix, where they would live forever in a virtual Heaven. Many of the religious humans would prefer to go to the real Heaven, but Wesley predicted that more people would go for the Cybernetrix Heaven because it was without a doubt a sure thing."
-Carlton
Mellick, Cybernetrix
“Tragedy
tomorrow. Comedy tonight.”
-Zero
Mostel
-Compiled by Phony McFakename
* * *
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