That Equifax Hack: What to Actually DO

Alright, you've already read all the articles about the Equifax hack and how it's catastrophically, apocalyptically horrible, how all your personal info is now out there in the hands of crooks and ID thieves, and there's nothing left for you to do but despair and rage against Equifax's awfulness at every step of this scandal.

Cool, we got all that covered. Now let's move on to what you can actually DO about it.

Most articles and sites are recommending that you sign up for fraud protection/alerts, but those are reactive and will just tell you after-the-fact when someone has wrecked your credit or taken out a loan or credit card in your name. Same applies to monitoring the credit sites on your own.

You need to do preemptive things. 

So this is my as-simple-as-possible guide with action items (and links) for dealing with the hack, since you were probably affected. 

1. Freeze Your Credit

Freezing your credit preemptively blocks any financial fraud from happening. Yes, there are fees involved ($10 for Transunion and Experian, probably cheaper than ID theft and legal fees). Google "credit freeze" if you want the pros and cons of the process. But if you're feeling bold and zippy, go ahead and freeze your credit at all major bureaus:

Equifax

https://www.freeze.equifax.com

Phone: 1 800 685 1111

Equifax Security Freeze, P.O. Box 105788, Atlanta, Georgia 30348

Experian

Online: https://www.experian.com/freeze/center.html

Phone: 1 888 397 3742

Mail: Experian Security Freeze, P.O. Box 9554, Allen, Texas 75013

TransUnion

Online: http://www.transunion.com/securityfreeze

Phone 888 909 8872

Mail: TransUnion LLC, P.O. Box 2000, Chester, PA 19022

Innovis (smaller, new bureau)

Online: https://www.innovis.com/personal/securityFreeze

Phone: 1 800 540 2505

Mail: Fill out this form https://www.innovis.com/pdf/InnovisSecurityFreezeRequest.pdf

In person: 875 Greentree Road, 8 Parkway Center Pittsburgh, PA 15220

2. Make life more difficult for ID thieves targeting you

There's a company called ChexSystems, they look for fraud committed in your name. Many, many banks rely on ChexSystems for customer verification on new checking and savings accounts. Give them a yell and have them place a security alert for you on their credit data to make it harder for ID thieves to open accounts in your name. This is their site.

3. Stop companies from sending you dangerous credit card offers by mail

You know all those awful pre-approved credit card offers you get in the mail? Those are catnip for ID thieves. They scour your trash (sometimes your mailbox) and steal them, fill them out in your name, and start credit cards using your info.

Good news, though! You can opt out of getting those spammy offers for five years or for life.

To opt out for five years: Call toll-free 1-888-5-OPT-OUT (1-888-567-8688) or visit www.optoutprescreen.com. Both resources are operated by the major consumer reporting companies.

To opt out permanently: You can begin online at www.optoutprescreen.com. To finish the request, you have to return the signed Permanent Opt-Out Election form, which is only provided after you initiate your online request.

4. Monitor your credit

To stay on top of your credit, set an alert to request your credit report every 120 days from here: annualcreditreport.com

5. And if you found this helpful, buy my new book Heavy Metal Scientology Aliens. 

Yes, it is as awesome and entertaining as it sounds. Get one for you, and one for the heavy metal-loving friend in your life.


-Phony McFakename

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