Wednesday, March 23, 2016

The Best Words: March 2016

Here's everything. If you also want to see what I think was funny on Twitter, here's the link.

“Pretty sure everybody is wrong about everything.”
-Michael Ian Black

“It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.”
-Winston Churchill

The Wizard of Oz, as you may know, is a movie about a girl who goes to a strange land and kills the first person she sees then teams up with strangers to kill again.”
-John Setear

"It makes sense that if you crossed the heedlessness of a firefighter with the anarchism of a punk rocker the result would be a person acutely aware of life’s randomness."
-Theresa Brown, The Shift

“A guy walks up to me and asks ‘What’s Punk?’ So I kick over a garbage can and say ‘That’s punk!’ So he kicks over a garbage can and says ‘That’s punk?’ and I say ‘No, that’s trendy!'”
-Billy Joe Armstrong

“He loved those vanilla cookies and Dr Peppers severely, but he loved them even more when he didn’t have to buy them. I think he saw eating my cookies and soft drinks as an accomplishment of great importance and took it as a matter of pride.”
Joe R. Lansdale, Honky Tonk Samurai

“Rascal’s handwriting was what might have been achieved by a spider on a trampoline during an earthquake.”

“Vimes had got around to a Clean Desk policy. It was a Clean Floor strategy that eluded him at the moment.”

“He hated games. They made the world look too simple. Chess, in particular, had always annoyed him. It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the king lounged about doing nothing. If only the pawns would've united ... the whole board could've been a republic in about a dozen moves.”

“I believe the term is ‘eminent domain.’
Ah, yes. That means ‘theft by the government,”

“Ye gods, it was so much better when there were just four of us up against that bloody great dragon, Vimes thought as they walked on. Of course, we nearly got burned alive a few times, but at least it wasn't complicated. It was a damned great dragon. You could see it coming. It didn't get political on you.”
-Terry Pratchett, Thud

“I mourn for those who never knew you.”

“Are we alive, or just breathing?”
-Killswitch Engage

“You’re still breathing but you don’t know why.”

“Don’t stay in a bad place where they don’t care how you are.”

“Where shall we live in this terrible town?”


“There’s no hell like an old hell.”
-David Bowie

“Maybe we don’t want to bring flesh-eating heroin into our neighborhood.”
-Dan Wells, Bluescreen

“Seasons don’t fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain”
-Blue Oyster Cult, “Don’t Fear the Reaper”

“We sleep two hours a day but we don’t fear the reaper
We eat from trees and play Minesweeper…
We weigh three tons and come from outer space
Sent here to destroy the whole human race!
Vampire blood runs through our veins
Our forked tongues wag, driving you insane…
You’ll be herded into camps when the time is right,
Where we’ll eat your brains for our delight!”
-Andy Samberg, ”Giraffes

“Talent hits a target no one else can hit; genius hits a target no one else can see.”
-Arthur Schopenhauer
  
“Well there you have it, baby,
I’m just a sensitive guy.
I snuffed a million planets,
But I still find time to cry.”
-Gwar, “The Road Behind”

“The more elaborate the explanation of why something failed, the less likely it is to be true.”
-Paul Graham

“The secret ideology of education: lots of DATA, but never ever any TOOLS – nothing with which to change self or politics.”
-Alain de Botton

“There's a time to be a human being and have an opinion, and there's a time to sell cars.”
-Steven Spielberg (Allegedly)

“Crazy is building your ark after the flood’s already come.”
-10 Cloverfield Lane

“I confess that, in 1901, I said to my brother Orville that men would not fly for 50 years. Two years later, we ourselves were making flights. This demonstration of my inability as a prophet gave me such a shock that I have ever since distrusted myself and have refrained from all prediction.”
-Wilbur Wright

 “Out of these inefficient tinkerings will come the future.”
-Kevin Kelly

"Now more than ever, it's evident that the old ways just don't cut it!"

"Do we wanna drop another mouse in the snake pit or send our own snake and let him crawl in?"

"Sweetheart...let us big boys have a conversation."
"Conversation. A word with four syllables. Do you want some ice before your brain overheats?"
"Ice. Yeah, you could chisel some off your heart, if you could find it!"

"I like anything fast enough to do something stupid in!"

"There are things they don't teach you in spy school!"
-xXx

“If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to abuse a child.”
-Spotlight

Steve Wozniak: What do you do? You're not an engineer. You're not a designer. You can't put a hammer to a nail. I built the circuit board! The graphical interface was stolen! So how come ten times in a day I read Steve Jobs is a genius? What do you do?
Steve Jobs: Musicians play their instruments. I play the orchestra.

“It's not binary. You can be decent and gifted at the same time.”

“God sent his only son on a suicide mission, but people like him because he made trees.”

“Fix it.”
“I can't.”
“Who's the person who can?”
“I'm the person who can, and I can't.”

“I sat in a garage and invented the future because artists lead and hacks ask for a show of hands!”

“Why do people like you, who were adopted, feel like they were rejected instead of selected?”

-Aaron Sorkin, Steve Jobs

“Some critters like to hide under rocks. Some humans like to hide under words.”
-Anne Herbert


-Phony McFakename

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