I recently
started a new job that has proven to be my most mentally
demanding yet. I figured it would mean my writing would drastically
slow down, or stop altogether.
Nope.
I
cut my self-imposed daily output requirement from 1,000 words a day to 500, but I
usually end up on a roll and cranking out more like 700 or 800. I grab every
spare moment I can find to hammer out words, thanks to my cheap laptop (which I
keep disconnected from the Internet to avoid distraction). So my writing
reduction is negligible. As long as I keep writing fun short books, I’ll still
be able to write a book every month or two.
That
sounds ridiculous and unsustainable and possibly it is. Once I have 20 books
out there, I’ll probably relax a bit. My system is to keep cranking ‘em out
until one goes viral and then people can delightedly say, “What else you got?”
And I can say, “I got 20 other books for you!” And the people can say,
“Hallelujah!”
To
keep you up to date on your favorite author’s work:
-UVA
Law Professor Brandon Garrett tweeted his delight with Tronald Rump Vs. Cockroach Zombies. He
actually read it before it was published and provided great feedback. (Power-Clashing Introvert also helped me whip that manuscript into shape and
make it slightly less ridiculous. Oh, and Power-Clashing Introvert’s
husband gave me great notes on Used Zombies that were super-helpful for fixing
it up- he's a gem.)
-I
finished my first out-and-out horror novel since 2010- The Gym- on my last day
at my old job and am revising it now and my wife just finished designing the
cover. And it’s a REAL novel- novels are technically required to be 40,000
words and this one crosses that line (JUST barely). I normally like to keep my
books shorter out of respect for your attention span, but trust me- every word counts
in The Gym. I made it as short as possible. No filler, all killer. I’m pretty
stoked about it. Expect to read it in a month or so.
-I’m
outlining my next book now. A delightful fable about moving to Florida titled,
Please Don’t Eat My Face! It promises to be heartwarming AND politically
correct!
-I’m
just about done with my current book- Derpa Derp: A Novel of Atonement- and
discovered that there were too many ideas for it. This silly experimental work
on different religious philosophies on forgiveness is gonna have a sequel-
Derpa Derp 2: Derp Derpa. And if I can’t fit all the rest in there, it’ll be a
trilogy.
Funny
thing about that- I’m not a fan of trilogies. If someone tells me a book- ESPECIALLY
a fantasy book- is the first book in a trilogy, I’m liable to hurl it across
the room ASAP.
But
if I like a book, then knowing it’s part of a trilogy (or series) fills me with
delight. It’s nice to know there’s more fun stuff like this just waiting for me
to enjoy. I naturally expect the series to peter out after a few books, but
that’s part of the experience. All beautiful things decay, it’s what makes
their beauty special and sad at the same time. A series of books is no
different.
Hopefully
my books fill you with delight and make you go all Oliver Twist on me, bringing
up a bowl and saying, “More please.”
And
unlike the mean cook in Oliver Twist, I will be happy to fill your bowl with
more literary slop!
-Phony McFakename
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