"As far as
I’m concerned, you can drop off the Earth. That's a promise.”
-The Room
“With great
power comes great mental illness.”
-Jessica
Jones
“Sometimes
she hears Troy is a cop. A toll collector. A professor. A musician. A stand-up
comedian. Once she heard a terrible rumor he became a librarian, but she could
not imagine Troy becoming the darkest of evil beasts, no matter what he had
done to her. Is it even possible for a human to become a librarian? Diane
wondered.”
-Welcome to
Night Vale
“Nobody
talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s.”
-Mormonger
“The real
road to hell was paved with all the friendships we made along the way.”
Isabel
Zawtun
“I got a
lot to say
I got a lot to say
I got a lot to say
I can’t
remember now”
-The
Ramones
I see
people saying things like "We did not deserve Mr. Rogers." or
"He was too good for this world."
No.
Mr. Rogers
spend his life trying to convince you that we did deserve him, and deserve to
treat each other how he treated us. We deserved him. He was the good we
deserved.
-Jeremiah
Tolbert
“I’m out of
bullets!”
“How come?”
“Because I
shot them all!”
-Hurricane
Heist
“If our
divided country can’t come together over a movie this wonderfully terrible,
what hope do we really have?"
-Andrew
Barker, review of the film Hurricane Heist
“You have
to give The Hurricane Heist a lot of credit for getting to the point. It is a
movie called The Hurricane Heist and it is about a heist that takes place
during a hurricane and both the hurricane and the heist start happening almost
right away.”
-Brian
Gubb, another review of the film Hurricane Heist
“But you
gotta be a, a hero. You want to be a champion. Well, let me tell you. People
don't want a champion. They want to eat cheeseburgers, play the lotto, and
watch television.”
“Somebody
call somebody!”
-Se7en
“Let’s see
where this goes,” Captain Paul said, and they all watched the ancient alien
pyramid get closer into view, as they ate alien mushrooms from another planet,
aboard their alien starship that apparently once belonged to ISIS. It couldn’t
be more interesting."
"The planet
was a lush green jungle full of life and beauty. It was pretty much like earth,
except totally alien, complete with talking pineapples (probably). Big patches
of the ground appeared to be shag carpet from the ‘70s. Monkey-lizard-birds
were part of the local ecosystem and not just hallucinations. It also had more
details about it that would make it seem more like Earth than an alien planet,
but those are boring details and who wants to bore you here? Certainly not the
author. Look, there are probably giant snakes you can ride complete with
saddles and everything, so who cares that there are babbling creeks, a
Starbucks, and clear, blue skies?
-Deadly
Lazer Explodathon by Vince Kramer
Sgt.
O'Brien: What are you doing?
Kirk: I
want to follow it.
Sgt.
O'Brien: I forbid you to. It's crazy. You don't know how to kill him, anyway!
Kirk: I
know I don't, but I have no choice!
-Panic!
“I’m just
so grateful to be so humble.”
-John
Mulaney
“When
everyone has to apologize for everything, then nobody will really be sorry for
anything. And then people can be funny again.”
-Trevor
Moore
-B.P. Kasik/Phony McFakename
* * *
I exist on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram. And my Phony books are on Amazon here and my "legitimate" books are on Amazon here. Probably some other places, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment